Can you relate to the sentiment of looking back on your day and not feeling like you did anything? Or maybe you do know that you did a lot, but to the outside world you feel like you have nothing to show? I was off from work today for Martin Luther King Jr. Day so I was home with my three boys. My husband had to work (much to his chagrin) and part way through the day he sent a check in text of “what are you up to?”
My immediate reaction was “not much.”
How is this response harming our self-worth?
I have responded countless time in the past with some version of “not much.” It may not seem like a big deal but I think it actually is and I think it could be linked to part of the reason why I’ve felt so burnt out in the past. That is because, it kind of shows us how we value ourselves doesn’t it? When I say “not much” even though I’ve been bopping around doing stuff all morning, I’m telling myself that the things I’m doing don’t matter or aren’t important. This is something I’m consciously trying to work on.
So instead of responding with “not much,” I listed off a few of the things I had been working on.
My husband probably didn’t even notice the shift to be honest and that’s okay. I listed it to him for me, for my healing journey, making the invisible visible.
For reference, I’m going to list off what I actually did today. And this is just what I can recall, but I’m an ADHD girl with a bad memory so I am sure I’ve missed some things.
Here goes:
- Woke up before the kids and journaled, meditated for 10 minutes (distractedly) and enjoyed some coffee
- I don’t want you thinking I’m some master meditator – I AM NOT
- Fed myself breakfast
- Fed 3 children breakfast
- Tried to do some work (I’m currently in the middle of a 30 hour training that I have 2 months to complete)
- Set up Sam to paint next to me
- Got interrupted 6000x with questions about which color Sam should do next
- 3 or 4 loads of laundry over the course of the day (and folded!)
- Geared up and went outside to shovel
- Geared up all 3 kids to go outside and play
- You know: snow pants, gloves, boots…the whole shebang
It was lovely seeing all three of them playing together without needing me to be involved
- Ungeared all three kids, dried their wet snow gear and the wet floor
- Attempted to de-snow dogs about 10 times (it did not go well)
- Made up a list of chores for kids
- Supervised getting those chores done
- Ate lunch and fed 3 children lunch
- Played cards with the boys
- Assisted my 10 year old in trying to play a song on the piano
- Vacuumed
- Watered some indoor plants
- Attempted to do a 15 minute yoga (It did not go well)
me when I sat down to try to do a yoga video
- Yelled at my dogs
- Ordered and picked up groceries
- Geared up kids to go play in snow – take 2
- Ungeared them and redried everything
It is 414 pm as I’m writing this listening to the sound of snow pants and jackets bouncing around in the dryer. We still have to eat dinner, get ready for return to school and work tomorrow, I have to get my oldest to shower which is always a feat, bedtime routines … again, the whole nighttime shebang.
So ladies, all this to say that even on the days when from the outside it looks like you have nothing to show for the day, you are doing so much. I can almost guarantee you are doing much more than you give yourself credit for. Yes, even on those days when you took a long nap or didn’t do the laundry or whatever it is you’re criticizing yourself for – you did plenty. You got out of bed and showed up for your day, and in today’s world especially that is sometimes no small feat.
Maybe we could help ourselves burn out less by just acknowledging what we are doing. I think that practicing seeing what you are doing in a day can be helpful to give yourself more grace and understand yourself better. I’d love to hear what you think.
