First Time Seeing a Psychiatrist

I am 36 years old and have been on many medications over the years but have never seen a psychiatrist until now. We’ve had three…

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I am 36 years old and have been on many medications over the years but have never seen a psychiatrist until now. We’ve had three appointments so far, and they have left me feeling hopeful. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression in the past and have pondered over whether or not I have ADHD for the past 5 or so years.

I decided to finally see a psychiatrist because I have started to struggle in work. Usually my M.O. would be to find a new job, but I believe in the work I’m doing currently and want to try to work through my struggles.

After several discussions, my psychiatrist does feel I have ADHD and so she wanted to try me on a non stimulant called Strattera.

It takes 4-6 weeks to work and unfortunately I’m not sure if it would have worked or not because after 1 week we decided to stop it. I was experiencing tachycardia with shortness of breath of sorts every time I did something remotely active (read: walking up a flight of stairs). My heart rate would shoot up to 120s. Now, I am familiar with this type of symptom as I have dealt with it before on and off (that’s for another story). I also noticed that my sleep was worse, I was waking up multiple times per night.

Okay, so I let her know I was having side effects and she scheduled a visit to talk where we decided to stop the medication. This was a little over a week ago.

She wanted to try me on Vyvanse which is a stimulant. I agreed, and part of me was like oh my god yes (because part of me thinks I’ll feel more validated that I’m not faking ADHD if a stimulant works) and the other part of me was really nervous of the potential side effects (wouldn’t a stimulant jack up my heart rate too? was I going to be jittery?). 

It’s been a little over a week now – the first day I definitely felt a little shaky, but that could have just been me being nervous about taking it. I don’t notice the shakiness anymore.

Overall, I think it may be increasing my heart rate slightly, but the episodes I was previously having stopped. And my sleep has returned to normal. 

I can’t 100% tell if it is working, but I do think it is helping.

I’ve noticed a few things at work that I normally would have pushed off until the last second then felt completely overwhelmed I was able to complete.

Yesterday was Saturday and I did so many things. And it didn’t feel impossible. One of my biggest struggles is starting tasks, I used to think it was a motivation issue but it actually seems to be a task initiation issue. 

Usually on the weekend I will lay down mid day for a nap (because I can’t decide what to do) and then fight with myself to get up for the rest of the afternoon.

I am hopeful.

Keep blossoming, Kathleen in letters with a bundle of pink flowers to the right side